It has been over 2 months since my last post here. I've missed writing and hope that you've missed checking in on our little family.
I had all kinds of posts planned and in my drafts folder-- a Mother's Day post, a Father's Day post, a post about a rare and amazing date night for me and the hubby, posts about Matthew's amazing new school and his last day of school. All of those will come eventually, we've been busy lately.
About a month ago, Matthew began gagging and retching when it came to eating and drinking. Then the vomit would come. It would happen with solid food, with bottles of Keto eggnog, and even when we would touch empty spoons to his lips. After the retching and vomiting he would be all smiles and like nothing was bothering him.
That was the start of our latest little adventure. One month that equalled 4 trips to the ER, 2 hospital admissions, firing our long-time Gastrointerologist and hiring a new one during a hospital admission, an NG tube, a pH probe, multiple x-rays, and my little guy being stuck at least 12 times for IVs. And another crappy part for me particularly was having to see the smug staff pediatrician who told me when Matthew was 6 months old that all of this was going to happen and that he would need assistance with feeding as he got older because "all kids with his kind of issues do."
The pH probe showed severe levels of acid reflux that his Prevacid wasn't even coming close to touching. Also when filling out his probe journal, Matthew's nurse suggested that I include all of the times he would have an episode of Infantile Spasms. Turns out those episodes were occurring exactly when his acid levels were the highest. The diet is controlling his seizures, now we may have an answer about the spasms.
The pH probe showed severe levels of acid reflux that his Prevacid wasn't even coming close to touching. Also when filling out his probe journal, Matthew's nurse suggested that I include all of the times he would have an episode of Infantile Spasms. Turns out those episodes were occurring exactly when his acid levels were the highest. The diet is controlling his seizures, now we may have an answer about the spasms.
And now here we are, 2 weeks status post a laproscopic Nissen Fundoplication and g-tube placement. I worked so hard with Matthew to keep us from getting to this point: working with a speech therapist and an occupational therapist on feeding, trying new textures, using a Nuk brush to get him to practice biting down. I so badly wanted to prove that smug doctor wrong.
Even though he is feeling so much better now that his acid issues are resolved, part of me still feels like I failed him because I didn't work hard enough with him to keep him from needing the g-tube. Silly I know, because I know that a child needing a g-tube isn't a failure and that moms aren't failures because their kid needs one, it's just something in my head. Us moms have the bad habit of always blaming ourselves and saying we should have done more.
Even though he is feeling so much better now that his acid issues are resolved, part of me still feels like I failed him because I didn't work hard enough with him to keep him from needing the g-tube. Silly I know, because I know that a child needing a g-tube isn't a failure and that moms aren't failures because their kid needs one, it's just something in my head. Us moms have the bad habit of always blaming ourselves and saying we should have done more.
We just got home from the hospital on Monday. He actually was released from the hospital last Tuesday, but we were readmitted the very next afternoon due to gastroparesis and c diff. It has been a very long two weeks being in the hospital and an even longer month seeing your baby in pain. Now we are fighting insurance and dealing with home health companies to get supplies delivered and learning how to live life with a g-tube and a feeding pump.
For all of our readers who are still here, thanks for hanging in with us. If any of you are parents of Tubie kiddos, any helpful hints or product recommendations for a rookie mom?
For all of our readers who are still here, thanks for hanging in with us. If any of you are parents of Tubie kiddos, any helpful hints or product recommendations for a rookie mom?
